A simple hack to be calmer and happier

2024 has been a hack of a roller coaster ride. In the wake of a fresh breakup from a multi-year cohabitating relationship I’ve moved cities, traveled to many cities to visit old friends, got my Part 107 license, learned how to ski, catsat twice, received a job promotion, navigated difficult family conflicts, found my New York City apartment, lost my grandmother, fought insomnia.

There have been both splendidly colorful experiences, as well as some trials and tribulations. With all the good things I have been through, none had stopped me from plummeting into the worst anxiety, loneliness, and depression that I’ve ever had in my life thus far. It seemed like my brain just naturally gravitated to spiraling downwards. All it took was the recollection of one unhappy memory, one conversation gone wry, and I’d project all the terrible things that would happen and convince myself that I was indeed headed for doom.

As I lay down in the dark, going through the same endless loop of depressing thoughts, I finally decided to do something different:

What if instead of recalling all the bad memories and making myself sadder or angrier, I challenge myself to make a mental videotape of the ten happiest memories I’ve had, and played that tape instead?

I thought of the beautiful landscapes I’ve seen, meaningful moments of connection with best friends, and the funniest inside jokes and punchlines in daily conversations.

Moments that make me feel like life is worth living, moments that are just a little bit transcendent… like everything that came before culminated in these.

Throw in there books, songs, movies that inspire me, and projects that get me up in the morning.

I was amazed by how quickly I was able to reclaim my sanity and calm down.

There have been many good moments this year. Think about all the time, $$, and effort into creating good experiences. It would be such a waste to never revisit the memories that came from them. Relive them often — they are just as valid.